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  “So you let him do things to you?” Addie whispered astonished now.

  “No!” Jessica whispered. “He’s seen me naked, he shows Carl, but he’s never touched me skin on skin sexually. Carl’s possessive, really possessive.” Jessica hesitated for a second or two. “He likes Renner, but he doesn’t want a Top that he works with every day to touch his girl if you know what I mean.”

  “So what’s he teaching Carl to do to you?” Addie leaned in now, taking a long sip of her coffee.

  “Carl’s implement of choice is a flogger. He’s learning how to use a riding crop without drawing blood.” Jessica leaned over in her seat and pulled up the bottom part of her dress and showed Addie the thin red lines on Jessica’s upper thighs.

  Addie’s eyes went wide. “Wow.” She whispered. “He did that?”

  Jessica’s face was pure joy. “Hell yes he did! And we are going back Friday night.” Jessica said softly.

  Addie pulled back from the counter a little bit, taking a sip of her coffee.

  “It doesn’t hurt Addie.” Jessica was quick to explain. “I like what Carl does to me. It’s a kind of release. It’s not abuse.”

  “Jess, as long as you are okay with it, who am I to judge.” Addie smiled. “I better go check my email and get ready for my next no-show.”

  Jessica winked at her and turned around and clicked the mouse to turn the computer screen back on. Addie walked back to her cubicle. She looked into Talia’s cubicle as she walked by and saw that she was helping a Soldier. Sitting in her chair, she slid in closer to her desk and pulled open the top drawer and pulled out the picture frame that was turned upside-down. She flipped it over and was faced with her ex-boyfriend Charles Thompson. His blonde hair was in a high and tight, his green eyes looked straight out at her from the picture. It was the spring formal. Only two months before…her breath caught in her throat and her eyes started to water. The talk of Sottomesso and Jessica and Carl being in a Dom/sub relationship got Addie’s mind spinning.

  Charles was a Dominant. They’d met at the DMV in town and started talking. He’d asked her out and that was the beginning of their relationship. It wasn’t until they’d been seeing each other for about five months that he’d told her of his fetishes and lifestyle that he usually led. And then he’d suggested tying her arms to the bed and used vibrators on her and little toys. Nothing too intense. No anal. Addie wasn’t so sure about that. He’d used a flogger lightly on her, introducing her to his fetishes. He could wield a whip like nobody’s business though. He’d shown her how accurate he was. And when the calls came in for him to go to Sottomesso, he went. He’d never taken Addie there. She never understood his reasoning for it either. Every time a call came in, and the frequency really depended, he’d explain that he had to go. Maybe it was because her father was a Command Sergeant Major that he hadn’t taken her. Several people knew they were dating and where she worked and knew her on site.

  Chapter Two

  Addie remembered the day like it was yesterday…yet it seemed like forever ago when she was told about Charles, and what’d happened…

  She was sitting with Talia in her living room watching Jennifer Lopez, in Maid in Manhattan. She and Talia had a running commentary and were laughing and changing the dialogue when Addie’s phone rang. She saw that it was her mother, so she picked it up.

  “Cosa stai mamma?” She always answered in Italian to her mother, using her mother’s native Italian.

  “Honey, I know you are hanging out with Talia. But, I need you to come home.” Her mother sounded worried. “You can bring her too if you want.”

  Her mother always worried about her friends.

  “Sure mamma. Is everything okay?” Now Addie was worried.

  “Ce. Ce.” She rattled off. “Just, please come home.”

  “I’ll be over in a few minutes.” Addie hung up the phone while Talia was looking at her phone and then looked up at Addie. Anguish was covering her face. “What’s wrong Tal?”

  “Oh, nothing.” She waved a hand around in circles. “Nothing.” She took a deep breath, “What’s up with your mom?” She tried to act normal, like nothing was wrong. But something was. Addie could feel it.

  “I don’t know. She was really worried. Needs me to come home.” Addie started folding the throw blanket from the sofa and put it over the back.

  “Um…I’ll drive.” Talia hesitated only a moment. “Let’s go.”

  “Don’t you want to change out of your sweats?”

  “No. No, I don’t.” Talia answered. “In fact, I’ll drive.”

  Now Addie knew something was going on. Talia and Addie practically ran out of the apartment and climbed into Talia’s new SUV and sped across town onto post to where Addie’s parents lived in on- post housing. They pulled into the drive and saw an MP car and a few others in front of the tan two story house. Talia was right on the heels of Addie as they walked in and saw a few Soldiers that looked like they came right out of the field and the two MPs and a few other people that her father worked with. They were in the living room in the back of the house.. Nothing good ever happened in that living room if the TV was off and men in various uniforms were around the sofa table. Addie’s mom had just put down a huge plate of sandwiches on the coffee table and spun around into the kitchen and brought out a tray with glasses and a pitcher of her famous peach iced tea.

  They were still in conversation until one of the Soldiers noticed Addie and Talia standing in the doorway. He cleared his throat, glanced at the Sergeant Major and tilted his head in their direction. It was then, that Addie noticed her father was in his dress blues. His jacket was on the back of the sofa behind him. He stood and called for his wife.

  “Tella.” He called. It was short for her given name Donatella. “She’s here.”

  Her mother came out of the kitchen and untied her apron and tossed it on the counter. “Bella mia.” She said, lifting her hands toward her daughter, as her husband came around the sofa to standby his wife.

  Slowly making her way to her parents, Addie’s legs felt like lead. Talia squeezed her shoulder and gave her a tight smile. Standing now in her mother’s embrace, Tella whispered in her ear.

  “Come, my darling. This is best in the other living room, yes?”

  Addie shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. Her father was nodding his head yes. They lead her past Talia who was talking quietly now to one of the Soldiers in his dress blues. As they walked to the front of the house, her father closed the french doors to the formal living area. Her mother sat her down on the soft plush brown leather. Her father sat on the other side of her.

  “Honey, I don’t know how to come out and say this, but…Charles has…” Her father cleared his throat. “Baby girl, Charles died in a training accident. His chute collapsed during a jump earlier today.” He paused for a moment. “His parents were told about two hours ago. I had to tell them first and I just got back. But uh, they…they want to see you tomorrow.”

  Addie’s head was spinning, her stomach felt like it was going to expel whatever was in it, and she saw black spots before her eyes. Suddenly, her head was pushed between her legs and her father was on his knees before her, telling her to breathe. Then the tears came. A hot torrent of tears slid down her cheeks as she went to sit up.

  “Tell me.” She whispered. “Please.”

  “Honey…I don’t think…” Samuel Marshall looked at his pleading daughter. The light of his life next to his wife. The last thing he wanted to do was tell her the gruesome details.

  “Please daddy.” She whispered again. She grabbed his hands firmly, squeezing tightly.

  “Everything was looking fine when they did pre-checks. He hooked up his static line, the jump master watched him exit. It was a mass exodus. So there are several jumpers in the air. His chute opened, but he fell into another jumper’s chute, collapsing the air to his own chute. He didn’t run off the other jumper’s chute. No one knows why. He just lay there. By the time the other jumper was abl
e to get away…” Samuel took a deep breath stopping. “Unfortunately, Charles was too tanged in his chute to pull his reserve to save himself and basically went into a free fall down the rest of the way. There was nothing the medics could have done.”

  She went to see Mr. and Mrs. Thompson the next day with her mother. They told her that Charles had asked for his grandmother’s ring to propose to Addie one day soon. Not sure whether they were just trying to torture her or not, Mrs. Thompson actually showed Addie and her mother the ring. It was a half carat, round solitaire set in a Black Hills Gold leaf pattern. Addie acknowledged that it was very pretty and asked them why they thought she should know. She seemed to be better off not knowing. They never answered her.

  The next few days went by in a blur. Talia had went to Addie’s apartment to pack a bag while Addie stayed at her parents’ house. She remembered staring at the yellow and gray colors of her room. Her friends from work would come by to visit her or text or call to check up on her.

  Then the blur of activity to get ready for the memorial on Fort Bragg at the main post chapel. It was standing room only. Addie sat in the second row with her mother, while her father sat right in front of them with other dignitaries. She stared at the huge pictures of Charles as they sat on the easels as they surrounded the boots with the M-16 that stood between them and his Kevlar on top. Charles’ dog tags were hung from the handle of the weapon. In one photo, Charles was with his parents during Basic Training Graduation. Another showed him pre-jump with his chutes, standing on the ramp of a C-130 smiling brightly, giving a thumbs up. Another was a formal portrait of him in his dress blues, incidentally, the same night Addie accompanied him to the Spring Formal, but she was cut out of the picture. The last was a picture Addie had taken of Charles and his closest friends at a bar-b-que.

  Each person that went up to the podium, spoke about what an amazing guy Sergeant Charles Thompson was. How he was so ecstatic for getting his airborne insignia. What a great friend he was. A great squad leader he was, etc., etc. As each person left the podium, they laid at his polished jump boots, coins or mementos that they had shared with him. A ticket to a concert. His favorite beer. A few pictures. His roommate had laid his maroon beret on the toe of one boot. His Platoon Leader laid a yellow static cord, rolled up, next to his boots. His Commander and First Sergeant had each laid out their personal leadership coins.

  At the end of the ceremony, most of the Soldiers walked by the Warriors Cross and knelt and made the sign of the cross, or just took a moment to bow their head and close their eyes. Several saluted. Some just took a moment to look at the pictures and laid a coin on the ledge of the easel of their favorite picture. But they all went up to Mr. and Mrs. Thompson and held their hands and whispered words of support. The Thompson’s didn’t want Addie to be a part of their son’s memorial because she was just his girlfriend. They didn’t even offer her the option to speak at the memorial.

  Only the Soldiers from Charles’ company took the time to search Addie out. She was pulled from the second row by Charles’ Commander with a huge hug. Captain Wallinowski and her father were good friends and golfing buddies. Their condolences were more personal. Hugs, shared tears and whispers of support. Promises to keep in touch and if she needed anything they’d be right there.

  Charles’ family lived only an hour away. But they decided on a small, private, closed funeral. Addie was not allowed. Nor was the Army detail that Charles’ company set up for the family. They were shut out of the cemetery by the local sheriff. So the Memorial ended up being their goodbye. Addie sat on the swing on the back porch in a black dress, her hair pulled back in a tight bun when Charles’ brother, Chief, came walking out the back door with Samuel in tow.

  “Addie girl.” He said using his and Charles’ nickname for her. “I’m so sorry that they didn’t include you.”

  “Its okay, Chief. I’m only his girlfriend.” She tried to smile up at him.

  Chief leaned down, he opened his black suit jacket and pulled out a piece of paper with his name and number on it. “That’s my number. I’m PCSing to Alaska. But any time you need to talk. I’ll listen.” He smiled at her as she took the piece of paper. “Addie, mom and dad…” He shook his head. “They didn’t want any reminders of his time in the Army. That’s why I’m wearing a black suit instead of my dress blues. You are a reminder of their son. He wanted to marry you. He loved you dearly.”

  Addie reached out and squeezed his hands before he left. “Thanks Chief. I mean it. And if you need to talk to…”

  “I have your number. I got it from his cell phone.” Chief smiled, squeezing her hand, then left.

  Addie hadn’t heard from him or Charles’ family ever again. And that was almost a year ago now.

  The buzz of her intercom took her away from her thoughts as Jessica announced that her ten-thirty appointment had arrived. She asked her to send him back and she got to work. Addie had just finished up when Jessica buzzed again saying that her eleven thirty was here and to send him back as well.

  Chapter Three

  Addie looked up as Staff Sergeant Conrad Renner walked into her little cubicle area. He was six feet tall. But then, Addie was only five, two…everyone was tall to her. His hair almost looked black and was long on top and short on the sides. His hazel eyes were piercing. A strong jaw and a nose that wouldn’t fit on anyone else’s face but his. He was a hulk of a man with broad shoulders that tapered down to a narrow waist. His hands looked like they could engulf you. For such a rugged man, he was…beautiful.

  She’d helped him a few time before with his ERB and updating his personnel file a few times before. He made her feel intimidated, even though she knew her job inside and out. But today, there was an air about him that he hadn’t had before, and the butterflies in her stomach fluttered so bad, she was afraid she’d embarrass herself in front of him and barf up her coffee.

  Conrad Stood there for a moment in the doorway of her cubicle and just took her in. She looked gorgeous with her curly hair down. But to see her hair pulled back from her face in a tight bun, all he could think about was her on her knees in front of him, his hand holding the bun of hair. Kind of crass, but that was him at times. She was gorgeous though.

  He stood there for a moment until he knew her butterflies settled down. He could read her like a book. Smirking, he set his binder on the edge of her desk and sat down in the chair next to it. Stretching out his legs, he crossed his ankles and rested his elbows on the arms of the chair and steepled his fingers in front of him.

  “Sergeant Renner.” Addie smirked.

  “Ms. Marshall.” Conrad answered smiling.

  “You darken my doorstep yet again. How can I be of service?” She leaned back in her chair, resting her left elbow on the arm and then rubbed the palms of her hands together slowly while she watched his eyes take in her hands and then move back up to her eyes.

  “That’s a loaded question Ms. Marshall. Are you sure you want me to answer that?” He smirked at her now, raising an eyebrow.

  “Well, answering is the only way to nail down to what you need for me to do for you.” As soon as she said it, she wanted to take it back. Damn her wording.

  Conrad brought his steepled fingers to his lips as though he was thinking. “First…stockings…black. No shoes. On your knees in front of me with my hand wrapped in your hair. Hands behind your back.”

  Addie rubbed her temple, “I’m sure any bimbo from Sottomesso could do that for you.”

  That peaked his interest. “What do you know about the ‘Messo’? Better yet, how do you know I go to the Messo?”

  “I know enough.” Okay, bluff Addie, bluff your ass off.

  “Really?” He tapped his fingers to his bottom lip. “I’d bet that you’ve never been inside of it. And those that have, know to call it the ‘Messo’.”

  “How do you know I’ve never been inside of it?” She asked annoyed now.

  Conrad dropped his hands into his lap and looked at her pointedly. “One,
I’d know if you were there. Two, you are too chaste for the Messo. Don’t want to get too kinky. That’s what dirty people do.” He smirked at her now. “They hurt each other in the name of love. Isn’t that it?”

  “Chaste?” She scoffed, crossing her legs now. “The only thing chaste about me…is my ass.”

  That really got Conrad’s attention. “Not into ass play are you sugar?”

  “No, and don’t call me sugar.” She answered all high and mighty.

  “Ah, there she is.” He sat up straighter.

  “There’s who?”

  “The defiant innocent.” He mocked. “And I’ve called you Sugar before and you never had a problem with it.”

  “Staff Sergeant Renner.” Addie started, and leaned in a little further toward him, “I’m far from innocent. And just because my ass is chaste, doesn’t mean I don’t know a thing about the kink that goes on in Sottomesso.” She paused for just a moment. “And I’m not defiant.”

  Conrad looked down at her cleavage as she leaned over. Then he smiled brightly as he looked into her eyes that’d gotten really green suddenly.

  “Sugar. What you need is a firm hand because…yes, you are defiant.” He adjusted his posture in his chair, leaning over to meet her. “You’re being defiant right now.”

  Addie sat back up and ignored his comment. She took her mouse and wiggled it so that the screen would turn back on. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She could see Conrad and his firm hand while she was on her knees in her mind. Man was she really trying to not let him know how he affected her.

  “Nothing to say Ms. Marshall?” He asked.

  “No, Sir. Nothing at all.” She answered.

  Conrad’s cock stirred to life at the sound of her saying the word Sir. He shifted a moment to relieve the pressure in his ACUs. “Nothing.”